ππ«π₯ππππ‘π’π§π¨ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
direblood) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sinsparadox2025-01-12 03:39 am
direblood) wrote in sinsparadox2025-01-12 03:39 amEntry tags:
direblood) wrote in sinsparadox2025-01-12 03:39 am
sidramatique>
no subject
her attempts at pushing others back from getting further has always been more for them, not for herself. furina is indeed stubborn, that way she finds herself being stared at is what causes the knave to look away once furina stares down. she's thinking. could it ever be worth it, worth that pain she would be signing them up for? she's not all that certain as the words ring in her ears briefly. it is lonely. painful, maddening, and tearing her apart as the knave denies herself and deprives herself of everything before her.
that light should never be hers again, not even as that memory of clervie's voice stays. if furina wants to risk her life, that's her decision. arlecchino had warned her and that was a grace given knowing she is still dangerous to get close to. what a tricky dilemma, one she did attempt to steer the other woman clear of.
since furina chose this much, it's only fair to acknowledge that.)
I know that too well, why else would I say that I wouldn't stop you, Miss Furina?
(the knave has done everything in her own power to ensure things were done smoothly for a reason during that prophecy. she was not there only to obtain the gnosis, arlecchino had more reasons behind her actions. fostering goodwill unlike her compatriots was a necessity. any good diplomat knows better than to leave in terrible standing, taking great strides to improve their relationship with all of tevyat is a must while ensuring no secrets are let out.
this is always something arlecchino would do while ensuring others do not take this as an excuse to use her, use others to their advantage in whatever games she plays that should not be on the board.)
Are you calling me lonely?
(no, she is lonely. that's been unquestionable. from her lone walks into the forest to her standing on the beach quietly, watching waves flutter by in silence. sitting along the shore, or perhaps standing in ankle deep water while overlooking what had been her "home". no matter this cursed blood, this country is her home.
or was one of them before, this can't be denied, either.)
no subject
Half of her partially expected to be lashed out at, but then again... trying to read The Knave was almost impossible at times. She was at odds trying to discern just exactly the intentions here this whole time was, leaving gifts in secret while staying anonymous with the concern that they would be returned if she found out who it had been.
Maybe that was why Furina continued to stand her ground and continued to look right at the other woman even as she averted her gaze. No, she wouldn't avert her gaze again. Not like she had for years in the past.
Sure. Furina did have her share of admirers and friends but it wasn't quite enough to fill that emptiness in her chest that she yearned for. Something she was never allowed to have for over 500 years due to the role she played in preserving all of Fontaine, so if anyone understand how painful it was to be alone in the world?
She did.
A soft huff escaped her, followed by an attempt at a smile because again, she wanted to smooth things out. There was no need to have any ill will or continuing to let old trauma dictate how she felt. ]
I believe I was, yes. I'm not sure what else you think it is I could be implying here.
[ Okay so she couldn't completely give up her childish tendencies at times, but it was just the way she was. Being lonely was not a nice feeling and she couldn't fathom why anyone would just keep choosing to do that to themselves. ]
Now. I'd like to have cake and tea with you, but we certainly can't do that out here, can we?
no subject
she had her reasons for hiding those gifts, consideration for the fact that she knew she did more harm than good. arlecchino did assist the others, this was true. she did everything she felt necessary for those children that she calls her sons and daughters. they deserve their own home, their own place to rest their heads at, where they may never be faced with the horrors she grew up with. horrors that shaped and changed her further. sculpted her into this impossible woman of many mysteries and more underneath the surface. a daughter of khaenri'ah, but she would not call herself this.
cake and tea, like before during those tense meetings of theirs where furina would rather hide behind the traveler or neuvilette? it's not what she expected. arlecchino can consider that a slight surprise for this evening (aside from her being read for a change) from the way that she spoke. while furina had surrounded herself in many, arlecchino was....alone. she did not allow herself to let anyone that close. pierro did warn her that her own curse may never leave her. as with all of their fallen dynasties; arlecchino is more fortunate that she was even born.
or perhaps, not so fortunate. she is, by all counts, an ill omen on this world. an enigma that shouldn't exist while controlling her own stage. maybe even worse than a simple ill omen as well, frightening for those who would never understand her to learn or grasp. maybe even the same in practice when it comes to those that do understand the knave.
if anyone could, in reality.
it's not as though arlecchino has anything to lose in trying, she's already considered stopping her gifts. there is no point in bothering her further were this to not be as helpful as thought. the proverbial olive branch that is extended between them, that is. she would prefer to not allow it to be forced were furina not ready as a small consolation for their awkward standing.)
....I suppose that I do have time.
(time that was often spent not sleeping for long, a restful slumber is something that often is rejected by her body. her cursed body and her wretched mind when something particularly violent starts to gnaw at the thoughts she uses to avoid falling into that trap.)
To your place, then?
no subject
Such a simplicity but that was a bit of a blessing in her eyes. She wasn't entirely sure she could have pushed much more without coming off too much or anything of the sort, but that was a thought for another time as Furina beamed proudly at her little accomplishment. ]
Naturally~!
[ She relaxed, hands coming up to clap together joyfully with her usual flair. Even turning on her heel in the direction of her dressing room without a second thought. ]
If you'll give me a moment to gather a few things, we can set off right away!
[ With that said, Furina hurried off to her dressing room quickly as she didn't want to risk letting the other woman try to sneak off or anything of the sort.
She gathered up the newest gifts that had been left for her, holding them carefully before hurrying back as leaving them there would just be a faux pas. This was a time where she absolutely was at war with herself, screeching on the inside because there was SO much about this that could go really, really bad... but then there was the other half logically telling her this was fine and getting to know the other woman without certain stakes hanging above their heads was a fantastique idea! ]
Right. So~! Shall we get going then~?
no subject
that may, however, do little for the thoughts and doubts within the other woman. she doesn't bring it up, arlecchino won't for the time being unless it became more evident her presence was doing little. she had one that can control a room, garner attention by captivating them in a mystery which frightens or entices. sometimes, both would apply to those brave enough to face her themselves.
furina's home, then. that is their next destination, while the knave idly wonders to herself if she still should be doing this. perhaps she could choose to avoid gifts again. take her time alone and carry on, there's nothing to suggest this would be a wonderful idea. that surely, arlecchino is risking more by staying whenever she knows that she is in some ways an ill omen.
for that reason, she'll go along with her request. a question is on the tip of her tongue when furina brings up the need to pick up something. mainly about what it was, until arlecchino remembers she did just deliver a new set of things for the other woman to take home.
right, the gifts are what she meant.
while she waits, for the moment, that familiar pang exists. one which she would ignore for her own good. there can be a lot that might go wrong, but there is little to stop her from trying if furina wants that. whilst waiting on her return, the knave goes over in her head if she does refrain from stopping....would it be easier to deliver things to her doorstep? she likely could. that does provide a bit more of a relaxed atmosphere to take that approach.
she'll figure out this later when furina returns, straightening out from her lean against the wall. arms uncrossing and attention (as frightening as her eyes are) back on furina. those unnatural pupils of hers almost glow again at the sight of her.)
Lead the way then, Miss Furina.
no subject
Her heart leapt into her throat when those eyes fully locked back onto her, but surely the glowy thing was just in her mind, right? Of course it had to be. Why else would they have done that? Fingers curled a tiny bit tighter around the bundle of gifts but Furina just nodded and began heading in the direction of the exit.
Of course she caught some concerned looks from a few people who passed by, but she just kept her smile as to try and assure them that this was okay. Nothing weird was going on or anything like that. Just bringing a Fatui Harbinger into her personal home... which was probably not meant for proper company and an existential dread filled her that had nothing to do with the other woman here with her.
Not entirely anyway. ]
Oh! I... hope you don't mind that my place isn't quite... ah... properly suited for guests or anything. It's a bit of a mess since I was in a hurry to leave for the performance today.
[ Yet now that she thought about it? This would be the actual first time she'd brought a guest home to her little home, suddenly feeling entirely self conscious of the state of what it would look like to someone as composed and put together as The Knave was.
What if she thinks i'm... a SLOB? No. I can't think like that. She's smart and wouldn't just assume such things from a one time appearance! ]
I also have come to the dreadful realization I don't believe I actually know your name beyond just The Knave. I'd hate to keep calling you that all the time, you know?